As men, it is in our nature to hunt for the right mate. And a man who commands the respect of a woman with brains and beauty will not only gain the esteem of his peers, he will also have a better shot at moving up the “corporate” ladder. However, let me make it clear to you cugines right off the bat that I ain’t talking about some half-wit goomah you picked up at the Locale a few weeks back. I’m referring to the woman who hasn’t cracked under the pressure of knowing where the bodies are buried and who you’d willingly take home to Mom and Pop.   

For better or worse, your friends and foes alike will judge you by your lady. Here are the qualities that Mr. Mafioso’s woman exudes and yours should too. I present to you the woman’s place.

The woman is a wife…

She turns a blind eye. My woman doesn’t even flinch when I stroll through the front door at 4 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, smelling like booze with dirt stains running down my getup. She keeps her mouth shut, tosses my clothes in the laundry and goes back to sleep. She knows the drill.

Your woman should honor your lifestyle unconditionally, because at the end of the day, you’re the breadwinner. And if she gets in your way, cut off her bankroll. Show her what it’s like without that Prada purse or those Gucci stilettos and I guarantee she will start to remember the woman’s place.

The woman is a lover…

If she’s your wife, you have sex with her conventionally. There are a few sacred vows in life that a man must honor. Omerta is one and marriage is another. This woman may bear your children someday and what you do in the bedroom with her should reflect this. I’m not saying you can’t spice it up, but don’t violate her.

On the other hand, if you’re with your goomah, no rules apply. Use her to get the most unholy of fantasies out of your system and keep in mind that she is simply the girl on the side.

The woman is obedient….

She doesn’t ask questions and does what she’s told. I’d like to tell you that all successful relationships are based on trust, but life doesn’t always play out like a Disney fairytale. The truth of the matter is that many relationships work best when a woman fears her man, just as a company is more efficient when the minions fear their boss. I don’t let my crew question my decisions on the streets and I damn sure don’t let my woman second-guess my actions at home. All I ask of her is to simply listen to my instructions and follow through. And she does so flawlessly because she is wary of the alternative. 

Point being, you can’t run a successful operation if you can’t even control your wife. Capisce?

The woman is a peacemaker…

She keeps everyone happy. It usually only takes a smile and a bit of false sincerity to keep acquaintances at bay. As the capo, I don’t have time to placate every minchione who begs for my attention. And when people start getting annoyed as I continue to ignore them, it is my woman who steps in to keep the peace.

Your woman should buffer you from your needy parents and provide excuses for why you don’t return their calls. She should extend the olive branch to those who you’ve wronged and smooth things over when you refuse to apologize. Don’t lower yourself to try and make everyone happy. That’s her role.

The woman is a cook…

She can work the pots and pans. Every self-respecting Don knows how to cook a meal, but we should never have to. After a long day at the office, it’s nice to come home and find the table set, a glass of Chianti Castello di Ama ’04 at the ready and the aroma of penne alla vodka emanating from the kitchen. Make no mistake: You will be judged by your woman’s culinary ability as much as you will by her looks. If she can’t cook like your mother used to then she should be out the door.

The woman is a filter…

She only gives you the information you need to know. Just as I keep my crew on a need-to-know basis, she does the same with me. I couldn’t care less about the new dress she bought or what little Eddie did to get into trouble at school. Let me know when the roof caves in or when someone steals my identity to buy a million-dollar yacht. I don’t have the patience to deal with frivolous details that are below my pay grade. My woman gives me the “Cliff Notes.”

sursa:askmen.com

The Young Businessman

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

the essentials

At the same time, men who complain about how much time their girlfriends spend shopping don’t even know what to buy when it comes to filling up their own closet. Many of our readers have inquired about what to wear this season and which articles would get the most use.

Of course, looking good does not have to mean spending a lot of money. The perfect solution? Six essentials this season for you to mix and match, that you simply can’t go wrong with.

While most of these combinations can be considered more appropriate for the weekend or for leisurely activities (depending on your profession, of course), there are some outfits that can be worn to work, especially with casual Fridays now in gear at most companies.

item #1- the white t

This essential article goes with almost every pair of bottoms that you own (your girlfriend will even think it goes with your boxers). Inexpensive, the basic white cotton T is the epitome of the summer essential. It goes great with a pair of jeans, khakis, shorts — you name it. A man can own 5 of these and probably still not get enough.

You may need more than one, since they tend to get dirty quite easily, but on the plus side, this is probably the most easily washable article. The tee can be found virtually anywhere, at any department store or retail store. The Gap offers a wide selection, from V-necks to Crew necks, to pocket tees. Opt for a thicker cotton white T-shirt as opposed to a thin one, which can end up looking transparent.

item #2- the short sleeve shirt

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Rather than putting on your long sleeve button down shirt, wearing a short sleeve one maintains the same amount of class, while reducing the amount of discomfort and sweat. This one is also usually permissible at work during the summer season and can be found anywhere, surely at your favorite men’s retailer.

Opt for something more simple and basic rather than a pattern print; this way you can get more use out of it whereas wearing your striped button down is more recognizable and may not get as much repetitive usage.

item #3- the sweater

This one is perfect for cooler summer nights, strolling down the street with your girlfriend or buddies. When I say long sleeve sweater, the thought probably makes you break into sweat.

I’m referring to a thin, cotton sweater that you can throw on for chillier nights or when the air conditioning is so powerful that you feel like you’ve stepped into an icebox. Note — do not wear the sweater around your shoulders, this should be left for your girlfriend to do

item #4- the shorts

What better way to feel comfortable and enjoy the summer heat than with a pair of shorts? The style of shorts that is presently being seen on most men and in trendy stores is beige or khaki shorts. If you want a more spruced up pair, you can find a pair with deep pockets (perfect for golf) or cargo style shorts.

You can probably get the most use with a pair of black, beige or khaki shorts, as these go with everything.

item #5- the chinos

Every woman loves a man in his khakis and every man will love how easy these are to match. Although jeans go with essentially everything, you may find that jeans are too thick and restrictive on those scorching summer days. A pair of beige or khaki pants will feel more lightweight, comfortable and breathable, and are perfect to wear to work (if your place of work allows these other than on casual Fridays).

Stores such as the Gap made these a staple, but they can be found at other men’s retail stores such as Eddie Bauer, Banana Republic and at department stores, usually under the Dockers brand.

item #6-the lightweight pants

If you want to add some variety to your wardrobe, a pair of thin lightweight pants is the way to go. I already covered cotton pants, but this time I’m referring to pants made of nylon, or another form of fabric that track pants are usually made of. Track pants are very comfortable in the summer heat, but there are other pants that are made of similar fabric that are more classy and less sporty.

mixing it up

Most of these articles should not be hard to find, since they are either pretty basic or presently in style. The beauty of these articles is that although some may have a trendier look, such as cargo or the pants made of nylon, most of these are classic articles that you’ll be able to wear come next summer.

That’s why you’re better off sticking to simple and solid prints, and trying to steer clear from trendier colors or patterns. Pink may be here this season, but it will probably disappear within the next two months.

Although all three of these tops can go with all three bottoms, it’s still important to use your judgment in terms of color, style and fabric. If the short sleeve shirt you purchased is made of linen, it may not go so well with the nylon pants. On the same note, the thin sweater may not go very well with shorts if the sweater is classier, since shorts are usually more casual.

Also, remember to think about which outfit is appropriate for each occasion or outing, since a nice evening dinner may not call for a pair of shorts.

Now that you know what to wear, I’ll cover what shoes to wear with your new summer outfits in my next article. Until next time, have fun and stay styling!

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7 Fergie

6 Shakira

5 Beyonce

4 Jennifer Lopez

3 Jessica Alba

2 Jessica Biel

1 Vida Guerra